Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
