me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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