This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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