guys are not supposed to queef...right?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
