Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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