so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
