he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
