Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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