Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
