I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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