with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
