You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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