so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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