Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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