It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she pinky promised me she was 18
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
