Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
