does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Green mimosas i think yes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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