Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
