Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize