On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
