R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
