Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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