You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
