He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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