Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I supernannyed him into submission
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
