just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
