pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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