I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
