If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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