Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just invented taco cereal.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
