I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
