margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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