i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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