Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
