office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
