is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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