I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
