Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
