are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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