It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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