question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
