So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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