you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
