my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
