how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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