D3 body, D1 cock
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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