Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
