you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
