yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
