Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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