I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
