it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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