How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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