How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pants are for mortals
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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