Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
