I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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