If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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