My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
