Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
