is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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