Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
