why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize