Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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