I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
where does the pee come out of this thing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize