just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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