The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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