i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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