Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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